I am thankful for the sincere, “How are you?” questions that come from friends and family; my support system.
I was recently reading a thread on a Facebook page relating to MS and the medicine I take. I was struck by this post: “I used to tell my husband when I had “ms stuff” happening. Now when I’m asked how I feel, I usually just say fine. Feel like I’m always complaining otherwise. Anybody else?”
I replied, nearly instantly, “I tell him if he asks. He’s my partner. He’s my teammate. We’re in this together.”
I am not shy to talk about health related item that bother me though. I am very aware of my body and changes in it, so I talk about it with my husband. I always have. I don’t work out every day and eat healthy all of the time, so I’m not a health nut. But, when I notice changes that don’t make sense or something hurts, I talk about it with my hubby. How else will he know what’s wrong or if something is bothering me if I don’t tell him?
Now that MS is in the mix, I don’t shy away from telling him something is wrong or good. When my feet stopped tingling, I told him. When my shot hurts, I tell him. When I feel like I can tackle the world, I tell him. When I am so tired that I just need to go back to bed, even though I just woke up, I tell him.
I am baffled why folks don’t tell their family or friends the truth when asked, “How are you?” Several of the responses from that FB thread say: “I just say I’m fine.” or “I’m good.” These folks also admitted they don’t tell the truth to people because they feel like they’re complaining or that their partner doesn’t believe them.
This makes me sad. Very very sad. I can’t imagine not being honest with my husband. I can’t imagine him not caring about how I feel. I can’t imagine him not believing how I feel.
I know I am loved by him and by my other family members. I can feel it, they tell me, and they ask — “How are you feeling?” They all mean it — sincerely and honestly — they all want to know how I am feeling and how they can help me feel better.
I hope the same for everyone else out there. Having a support system is so important. Don’t hide how you feel — physically or emotionally — please. New symptoms may mean your meds aren’t working. Changes in emotions — if you’re feeling depressed or anxious — may mean you need some medicinal support. Both are completely normal for those of us with MS.
Thank you, sincerely and forever, to my support system. I am very thankful for you all.