I almost feel like I am in control again, and if you know me, you know much I do NOT like being out of control.
The title of this post is a lyric from one of my favorite songs by the band: Ra. “Take the wheel and Drive”
I decided I’m going to start driving my life and not be at the mercy of head hunters and online job ads. I am going to write a dang cover letter for all my applications. I am going to add in my references from the get go. My references have wonderful things to say, so why not use that to my advantage during the application process? I can’t help it if they do not reply, but I am going to do it all dammit. I will do everything I can to land an interview!
When it comes to things in my personal life, I also feel a bit out of control.
Tuesday was a stressful day. I took our 15 year old Border Collie in for a check up. She has been having a few problems and the antibiotics aren’t kicking the infection out the door. More tests ordered today. That morning I was calm, cool, and collected while discussing options with the vet. We made our decisions together and went on our way. After arriving home, walking Sammy, and giving her a cookie, the shock wore off. I remembered the word “carcinoma ” was thrown around quite a few times. Ahhhhhh! Calm down. He said “if” and “maybe,” nothing definitive. We have no tests or biopsy results to say it is anything more than a UTI. So calm down.
After some tears and an attempt at snuggling, I remembered I am in control of how I feel. There is nothing different with Sam this afternoon compared to this morning. I am changing her meds based on the conversation with her doctor. I am going to snuggle the heck out of her to remind her how much I love her. I am going to be the best dog mom I can be. I can control that.
And then there is the house. More stuff that feels out of control. When I am stressed about work and/or Sam, it does seem that everything else falls by the wayside. The dishes are piling up, yet the dishwasher is clean. The laundry is oddly getting done little by little. There are baskets of clean clothes everywhere, but it isn’t folded. What the heck!?? The toilets need cleaning, but we aren’t planning for guests, so that’s OK with me! I don’t seem to have the energy or desire to manage the house. I barely made it to the grocery store for some quick dinner items last night. Life has been stressful for a while…
So what do I today? I slack off a bit more by writing this blog post (but maybe I needed the time for some self reflection). Now, I will get to cleaning up a few things before my daily appointments start. Now I will take control of my day and see what I can accomplish!
Make it a great one.